What is my purpose and what is yours? How can I call to your heart and the hearts of those who resonate with this question? Who have a feeling, as I have, that they have a mission, a calling that is far more than just slogging through the day to day? Who are called to help heal this world in trouble and to serve others through all that they have learned?
Those who have engaged deeply in the past and present with what I teach have resonated to these questions because I recognize in them what we are together reaching for. We are engaged in the collaborative project of awakening. We are doing this with many other souls.
Does my call resonate with you? Make your heart thrum? If so, read on!
In myself, I feel this tension: There is a high ideal of being awakened, of being fully healed of past hurts and harms and cleansed permanently of the causes and conditions which create disturbances in the mind and emotions and in the outer life. Where the pain of this world in conflict and sorrow will no longer touch me. So that I will have an enduring peace, acceptance and stability no matter what storms around me and in the world.
Counter to this is the reality that I am not there yet. I cannot say that I am fully awakened, enlightened and more.
I have had glimpses of this state in remarkable moments when the veils of perception have opened so I could be shown Who I Truly Am and Who I Can Become. When ego has fallen into its proper place and I am a complete expression of love. These experiences have brought me much peace and joy, comfort, inspiration, and truth.
They guide me and are my signposts. They help me keep up the faith even when discouragement threatens to overwhelm me. They have shown me my true calling in life.
Against these visions and messages, despite how much it sometimes still seems there is to do, I nevertheless recognize that I have come a long way. It is not that I am not awakened at all, that I live still in darkness and despair entrained to old hurts and limitations, as I once used to be. Yes, I have healed a great deal. I have a greater capacity to hold fast to the light, to live more in the now and to release worry, fears and anger. I have loving and sustaining relationships. I have the capacity to feel and be in happiness–a place of peace within myself to return home to. I know and feel the Light Within, Through and Around All That Is. I feel dynamically and viscerally my deep interconnection with everything.
Yes, this is true.
And also, I still get pulled and pushed by life. I still wake up in the middle of the night and am afraid of the next day. And, so I do.
When I look back on my life now, I also see what I call the “bonefield” of my failures and mistakes, conflicts with others, and times of depression and confusion. Yet I also see love and connection, beauty and truth, triumphs and joys.
As I look upon these facts, I also recognize how I have used each experience as grist for the mill of transformation. To ensure that each hardship and every error is put to good use in service of awakening and illumination.
So it is that I have been taught by Mother Life to embrace the reality that the perfection is in the imperfection. The goal is in the process.
So, I cannot sit on a high seat as a teacher or healer and say, “I am the ideal. I have completed the journey. Hence, you should follow me.”
I can only say that I am a wayshower. Maybe I am only a few steps ahead of you.
No matter where I am, I show you how to lean inward into your deepest self and beyond self, as well as into outer appearances, disturbances and conflicts, in order to find the juice which leads to awakening. I show you the way to feel ever more clearly the presence of the loving angelic beings, guides, teachers and guardians who surround you and all of us. To know and feel the Sacred Presence within, through and around All That Is. Spirit-God-Creator-Mystery.
I teach the reality that what is inside you is in everything else. That as you do this good work of inner contemplation and transformation, you are also healing the world.
Because you are the world, just as the world is you.
In this way, I show you how to find and harness your true purpose for incarnating in this messy world, in this painful and joyful life. To then transform what you experience into gold which then, you, too, can offer to others as a wayshower and for the healing of the world.
So it is that I do not teach “shamanism” or Buddhism or psychotherapy, per se, though I have had many teachers in these streams of light. I do not teach Native American spirituality—indeed, I am not indigenous to the land upon which I live. I have been schooled and trained in the ways of western civilization and have ancestral roots in Christianity.
Nevertheless, thanks to many teachers, the footprints of all these magical lineages are certainly in my Medicine Basket of Love. I have integrated them into one truth. What I teach is a meaningful way of being and doing in this messy human endeavor. I give you amazing and powerful tools—prayers, meditations, ways for contemplation, transformation and healing, and earth mystic ceremonies. Once you learn them, they are yours to reach for when experience in the present calls for it. I give you the knowing about how to choose the right tool for the moment, for what is calling for attention and love.
I teach you the natural pathway of life into illumination on the map of the Great Medicine Wheel of the New Earth. This natural and abundant Dance of Life gives you inspiration for when you find yourself in the West Lodge of the Dark Night of the Soul, or in the South Lodge mired in the worries and busyness of meeting your survival needs. Or when, in the North Lodge, deep beliefs in scarcity and lack are still driving you, or when, in the East Lodge, you cannot seem to come down to earth and function well because at some point, you decided to escape from it all to cling to the realms of light to thThis ise exclusion of embracing Mother Life.
Unfortunately, the truth is that you will never be truly happy if you are still trying to escape!
The Great Map of the Wheel of Mother Life teaches you how to embrace the wholeness of your human experience—body, mind/emotions, soul and spirit. As you dance this powerful map with the intention to be fully conscious, awake and live, you come to the centerpoint where you passionately embrace the body and the world, you ride with mastery the darkest wilds within and outside, you gain the deep soul wisdom that comes through understanding the deeper meaning and purpose of all that has arisen, and you step into the truth that you are a Spirit-Creator Being.
You harness your highest dreams for life and stalk the Track Lines of Destiny to its fullest manifestation in life. You become the Visionary Healer and Creative for Peace you are meant to be precisely because you are human.
So together we will continue to become more awakened, more whole, balanced and right. Through prayer, meditation, ceremony, and contemplation, the veils between this and other realities will continue to thin so that eventually, we will recognize that this life in the physical world we live in is just a dream.
That the true reality is our Greatest Self—that which is dreaming up and dancing on the light threads of the multiverses in many incarnations and experiences in many worlds and dimensions.
This is my true purpose and it is yours. My strong commitment and intention are to do this work–to seek full illumination using the grist of life as the lightning rod of awakening and deepening. Whether I am happy or sad, depressed or joyful, despairing or enlivened.
And in that purpose, expressed here, I take all that I have learned and studied, experienced and known, and turn it into gold for you. So that you, too, will harness your True Purpose as a Human Being and thus become a wayshower to others of the truth of Who We Truly Are. Enlightened, awakened, illuminated. Interconnected and One.
So that together, whether close or far apart, known or unknown, we will dream into being a New Earth of peace, wholeness, harmony, compassion and love.
May it be so. Aho.