When we have lived through trauma, loss, betrayal, illness, oppression, or other forms of profound suffering, it can be tempting to look back and try to make the suffering meaningful. Spiritual traditions sometimes encourage us to see our wounds as gifts, as though the terrible things that happened to us were somehow necessary so that we could become who we were meant to be. I do not believe we need to do that. Trauma does not make us spiritually special. We do not need to be